oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
