I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
