I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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