His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
