my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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