This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
