Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
