I wanna bring you to show and tell
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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