8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
