Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
