he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
