You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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