party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
