We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
