he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
