Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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