she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
