Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
