so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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