"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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