Im at strip club and am horny
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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