grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
