Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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