There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
