update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
