Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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