Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Of course I have a pirate flag
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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