She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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