We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
