i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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