Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
