i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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