I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
