yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
