She said her name was "party"
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize