Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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