I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
