I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
