Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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