11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
That's intense
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
