I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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