Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
