I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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