i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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