its not stalking. its research.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize