don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
