Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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