redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
