there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
