I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
