someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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