Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
