I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
