Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
