A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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